![that's what [debbie] said.](https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjFTEgfhLTsgiIewhrASjQaIRG_SHeiP6rUS7TWIU8bLvp2zeSsE3wnEWu7-Y_4hibI7tvNobR6yrmomB2sSr00I6yyxFxfIy1bnMBMGEQetDijBlwz0ry7olPS8bUpER5TUlsrrwPnKt2C/s660/imaging.ashx.png)
I am packing my life away, and to tell you the truth, it's kind of overwhelming.
Everything from photographs of dear friends (okay, so one of the girls in the pictures is not such a dear "friend" - trust me, I have my reasons - but a purple Sharpie took care of that. Think devil horns and mustache. Immature?) to clothes to accessories to beauty items to meds to shoes. Printing out my class schedule. No math for me this semester. THANK YOU COLLEGE GODS. Downloading the move-in pass to my dorm room. It's all kind of scary, exciting.
I feel this strange rush that I haven't felt in a long, long time.
Playing Asher Roth's I Love College over and over and over and over again to ease my nerves, my anticipation. It'll be great. I just have to wait and see.
Am I making too big of a deal out of this?
I want to flourish. I have so many dreams.
Now that I'm no longer looking at school as an opportunity for full-blown self-destruction without anybody watching my back, I am overwhelmed, because nothing seems safe anymore. To that monster inside my head, anyway.
God. I am terrified.
But I'm also the happiest that I've been in a long, long time.
Debs.
Tuesday, August 18, 2009
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Debz!
ReplyDeletegoing to college is a BIG DEAL. a really great deal. you're going to flourish. you're going to meet amazing people and make them into friends that'll feel like family. you're going to get to share all you have to offer (a lot!) with professors and peers.
you are safe. you are strong. college is centered around learning about who you are and who you want to be. don't let fear tempt you into isolation and self-harm.
message me if you want to talk more about school :) it's such an exciting time and transition.
love <3
College is nerve-wrecking, but it's going to be amazing, I can promise you that.
ReplyDeleteI love you!
aw my sweetheart -- i can completely relate.. college can be legit overwhelming but there is no denying that it will be a memorable experience for you and a chance to grow, learn, and how you so beautifully put it -- flourish. I have no doubt you will be successful at school and in the good ol' US of A.. AND i can't wait to see you now that you'll practically be next door :)
ReplyDeletelove you lots and happy packing, D <3
good luck in college :) Just remember that everyone wants to make friends too!!
ReplyDeletequestion: are you making a too much of a big deal about college?
ReplyDeleteanswer: um, NO.
going away to college is Huge. capital H. its the start of your proper adult life beginning - finding out about yourself & the world from an independent position. its scary deffo but also amazing. you have come so far to be healthy enough to make this decision but also to be healthy enough to take every opportunity that college gives you (college & being ill is no bueno, trust me)
i can see why you're terrified - but give yourself enough credit to know that you can pull away from the monster inside your head and remember who you really are. you are Debs & you are awesome. let this shine through and you will be having a blast at college (you'll be beating the guys away with a stick)
this is a new chance to make new memories that you will remember forever. don't waste a moment girl!
L. x
You are definitely not making a big deal out of this Debs! It's such a huge lifestyle change, as you said, and I would be worried if you weren't a bit scared!
ReplyDeleteJust remember that every single person there is going to be feeling that same rush. I am positive that you'll fit right in and start your new life there without a problem. Everyone (both girls and boys) will be so drawn to you!
Also, you will have me there with you. If we get this adoption thing worked out in two days. :]
Love you!
WAIT, I just need to tell you that my verification word is 'pagogy'. It's cracking me up.
I'm feeling it too, love though I'm a month away from it all - it's terrifying but amazing, too, right? You're such an amazing person I have NO DOUBT you'll make friends - great friends.
ReplyDeleteMuch love,
college is definitely one of those places that instigate the flare of nerves but TRUST ME you will get there, fall into place, and realize you are meant to experience this new life. It's all a bit overwhelming at first, of course. You are away from home. You are independent. You are meeting tons of new people. But guess what? As scary as all that may be, it's super exciting too. Look to all the new craziness and think about how great it could be. I'm so excited for you and I think that you are going to kick butt at school. ED is NOT about to rear its ugly head back in your life...no way, no how! You are amazing inside and out and I cant wait to hear all about the fun fun fun! love you tons sweetness
ReplyDelete